There was lesbian mess aplenty on the final season of Queer Ultimatum, and I grew to become hooked on the purpose that I nonetheless observe a number of of the principals on Instagram. (Guys, Aussie and Sam are nonetheless collectively, I feel! And Rae and Lexi each have new companions, which rocks as a result of they had been…ill-suited!) Season two, although, makes the final appear like a very well mannered episode of The Nice British Bake Off, with intercourse, lies, drama, and allegations of Spotify-cheating abounding from each route. What’s Spotify-cheating, you ask? I wouldn’t need to give away too a lot, however simply know that you must at all times make your Spotify playlists non-public, particularly in the event you share an account together with your ex and also you’re holed up together with your new “trial spouse,” cooking truffle-infused meals and listening to alleged intercourse music.
As a queer individual myself, I completely get the attraction of being round a bunch of different queer individuals—with no straights in sight—for nearly two months, and I at all times assume the solid members appear like they’re having essentially the most enjoyable on the present’s outset, when everyone seems to be simply cruising and flirting and laughing in beachwear. One factor I merely don’t perceive, although, is why a pair that appears to be appropriate and fairly blissful—like season two’s Bridget and Kyle—would signal as much as go on a present that’s principally the truth equal of U-Hauling with somebody you met at Woods Wednesdays for 3 weeks straight, solely to understand that you simply don’t even have as a lot in widespread as you thought you probably did over margaritas and delicate vape drags.
In fact, there are some Queer Ultimatum {couples} who genuinely appeared to develop into their relationship on the present, like Britney and A.J., and a few who most likely by no means ought to have dated within the first place (Ashley and Marita look like a traditional case of “We’re from an space with a fairly small queer neighborhood and everybody threw us collectively as a result of we’re each homosexual”), however as somebody in what I’d prefer to assume is a wholesome and non-codependent queer relationship, these “this and by no means happening Queer Ultimatum” memes are very actual.
Clearly, no one’s going to drive me and my companion to seem on a Netflix actuality present, however even the thought of watching the love of my life actually hand-select somebody new from a small cluster of queers to play home with for the following three weeks sends a frisson of worry down my backbone. Does this imply I’m not as emotionally developed because the individuals on Queer Ultimatum, or simply that Queer Ultimatum is essentially the most chaotic queer actuality present there has ever been? Both approach, somebody greenlight season three stat, and perhaps throw in a masc-for-masc couple whilst you’re at it!
