Not way back, I threw a going-away celebration earlier than shifting to Los Angeles. It was a dimly lit, wine-soaked send-off within the basement of a Croatian restaurant on Decrease East Facet. By hour three, I had consumed one too many glasses of orange wine and one way or the other ended the evening with out my prime. It felt like an acceptable farewell to New York: chaotic and overly intimate in that specific downtown approach.
I invited an ex-lover—or slightly, somebody who was my ex in each approach besides by official title. I wasn’t clinging to something unresolved. I used to be in a contented relationship, and it felt grownup, even beneficiant, to supply a pleasant goodbye to somebody who had as soon as been a part of my life.
The following day, he texted me: Wouldn’t it be okay if I requested out Marie?
The phrasing was thoughtful. The sentiment, much less so.
Quick-forward a number of months, and so they’re now relationship. My finest pal and my ex.
At first, I attempted to consider it anthropologically: How fascinating, this contemporary entanglement. However in actuality, it has modified our friendship in ways in which I might have by no means anticipated.
The second time this occurred, I had simply completed scuba diving in Hawaii. I emerged from the water—much less Baywatch, extra Loch Ness Monster—and checked my cellphone with sopping fingers. A textual content from one other shut pal: Would you care if… You may guess the remainder.
She wished to hook up with somebody I had dated semi-seriously the yr earlier than. “It’s not that deep,” she assured me. In fact, it already was. Because it seems, they’d been seeing one another in secret for weeks. She’d simply been too scared to inform me.
At first, I believed: Am I cursed? Is there one thing about me that makes individuals assume I’m chill with this? Have I given off some sort of cool-girl, boundary-less power that screams, “Positive, take my exes, take my leftovers, take my toothbrush when you’re at it”?
