It’s wonderful, it’s cool, we’re coming into the ultimate hawk tuah of 2024. Was it good? Was it dangerous? 2024 was a chop suey of mega-lols and strife; of rodent males, “Apple” dances, holding area for trad wives, and discovering out cocaine apparently is available in pink.
The yr was so packed, Nara Smith barely had time to make Dr. Pepper from scratch, so it’s okay to be confused by the chronology (particularly in the event you’ve taken the Substance). When did Child Reindeer come out? When did I put my hand within the Dune: Half Two popcorn bucket? When was “he within the Amazon with my mother when she was researching spiders proper earlier than she died”?
I see this previous yr as a lumpy pillow; in the event you pounded it the suitable manner, you might relaxation and loosen up, however more often than not there was a nagging discomfort. All through, we tortured poets gathered on the web, mindfully and demurely matching one another’s freaks. Allow us to replicate on one year of maximum online-ness.
Mike Feist wore a radish to the Met Gala. A whole bunch of timorous Timothée Chalamet lookalikes congregated in Washington Sq. Park. However in the event you like Roman noses and quick shorts, this was undoubtedly the yr of Paul Mescal, who dominated the web together with his Sweetgreen runs and cheeky cigs with Natalie Portman. Particular thirst-mention to that mischievous twink Jonny Bailey, and that French Olympic pole vaulter’s, nicely…ample pole. Additionally, we’ll at all times have the Beyoncé-in-a-ballgown-and-Ed-Sheeran-in-a-trakkie juxtaposition of Olympic shooters Kim Yeji and Yusuf Dikec. Oh, and Raygun—we’ll at all times, at all times have Raygun.
Kamala Harris technically fell out of the coconut tree in 2023, however her presidential memes rallied the troops after that Biden debate, present within the context of all through which we lived and what got here earlier than us. And whereas Donald Trump getting earshot gave us considered one of 2024’s largest conspiracy theories, Kate Middleton grew to become embroiled in her personal media scandal.
We couldn’t be associates in 2024—love bloomed. Bennifer did the are-they-aren’t-they cha-cha-cha; all of us fell in love with a pygmy hippo; Billie’s sapphism slid us into summer season; and burned into my retinas was the mortifying pink “o” of that chap’s mouth through the Love Is Blind UK proposal.
